Professional writer for Uproxx.com, GammaSquad.com, Guyspeak.com, Guyism.com, Zug.com, and innumerable other sites. He writes the Internet, basically.
Dan Seitz
Obscure Relative Leaves Woman $7.4 Million In Gold Hidden In His Garage
Arlene Magdon never met Walter Samasko, Jr. They were first cousins, but they may have never even met. Nonetheless, Arlene is thankful to Walter, because he left her a fortune in gold.
Drug Courier Loses $20,000, Asks Tucson Police For Excuse Note
Granted, losing $20,000 of a drug cartel's money is fairly panic inducing. That said, you do have to wonder what Demarco Alonzo Thomas was thinking when he called the police for a note excusing him from delivering $20,000.
This Was Not The NFL’s Best Thanksgiving
This Thanksgiving was kind of a disaster for pro football fans. Fans of the Jets could only watch in horror as their beloved team gave up three touchdowns in about a minute of game time.
On the other hand, at least it wasn't the Lions/Texans game, where infamous quarterback Ndamukong Suh, who last year allegedly stomped on a Green Bay Packers player, went one better and kicked the Houston Texans'
Naked Man Rides London Statue For Three Hours
As Randy Newman warned us years ago, you should beware of the naked man. In London, they should beware of THIS naked man, who decided to ride a statue in the London chill.
Why Pay Thousands For Twinkies? Here’s The Recipe.
In the wake of the closing of Hostess, many are worried that they won't be able to get Twinkies, and driving the prices of the snack cakes up to absurd degrees on eBay.
Good thing the recipe is easy to find, if you're not made of money.
The Internet Picks Out ‘The Simpsons’ Funniest Signs
The Simpsons is not a show that's shy about stuffing gags into every corner of the frame. And, after nearly a quarter century on the air, the show has quite a few signs. Here's a strip of what seems to be the Internet's favorite gags from the beloved show. Fair warning, it's a long image.