Are you a compulsive smartphone checker?  The chance are good that if you are in a serious relationship your phone could be becoming a third wheel. A recent study conducted by Brandon McDaniel of The Pennsylvania State University and Sarah Coyne of Brigman Young University in Utah, surveyed 143 women. What they found was this:

  • 62 per cent of women in long-term relationships who were surveyed said technology interferes with their free time together.
  • 35 per cent claim their partner will pulls out his phone mid-conversation if they receive a notification
  • 25 per cent said their partner actively texts other people during the couple’s face-to-face conversations.
  • 75 per cent said their smartphone is affecting their relationship.

‘Over time, individuals feel less satisfied with their relationship as well as with the way their life is currently going. They may not even realize this is happening.’

It is being called technoference. And scientists are warning it could be damaging a relationship you value. So here are some of the tips they offer to help you keep it in check:

  1. Place the phone somewhere away from you on silent, such as in a purse or on a shelf.
  2. If you need to check on something legitimately important, provide an explanation to your partner first and then check your phone.
  3. Don’t get defensive when you get called out for technoference – it’s somebody’s way of saying they’d like to connect with you in-person.

The researchers believe that if you are not careful the ‘technoference’ – even if infrequent – sets off a chain of negative events: more conflict about technology, lower relationship quality, lower life satisfaction and higher risk of depression.

These findings were published in the journal Psychology of Popular Media Culture.

And speaking of valuing face to face conversation last year a study from Brigham Young University also showed that serious conversations and apologies can do more harm than good in your otherwise healthy relationship when done in a text.

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