In Maine, “Kwikies For A Buck”?!
“Excuse me, but may I have a Kwikie”?
The Maine State Lottery has plans to rename its “instant scratch” tickets for the first time to…..”Kwikie”. The future plans were mailed out to over 1,300 retailers a couple of weeks ago, and the employees of those stores have had time to think about it.
Bob Duran, owner of C&K Variety in Hermon, said he wouldn’t ask his customers if they wanted a Kwikie. “It’s not the best name, no,” said Duran.
As we all know, the word “quickie” can mean a variety of things, with one of the most popular things being sexual…in more ways than one.
So, think of it for a few moments, that young girl standing behind the counter at the local store, selling “Kwikies”. Just imagine the jokes that she and everyone else standing in line are going to have to endure. The joke is going to get real old, real soon.
Gerry Reid, director of the Maine Bureau Alcoholic Beverages and Lottery Operations, said it’s not the state’s intent to be provocative.
“Hey Hon, I’m going to stop into the store real quick on the way home and get a Kwikie”. You’re what?
“I fully understand that when someone saw this word in isolation, they thought, ‘Oh, these guys are getting a bit racy,’” said Reid. “We’re actually doing everything we can possibly do to not lead you to that place in your mind.”
But if one realizes this already, why bother to pursue this any further?
Reid says that the Lottery’s “instant tickets” account for about two thirds of all lottery sales. The tickets have no name, no brand, as say “Powerball” does. Powerball is an identity. It’s an image. People know what to ask for.
“Say yo baby, how ’bout a Kwikie”?
Well, I’ve known since high school, maybe even eighth grade, that “quickie” definitely has it’s own brand. There’s no doubt, it’s identifiable.
Reid says that the word “quickie” is used in many different spellings at many different businesses and even by the cartoon series “The Simpsons”, which has a “Kwik-E-Mart”.
But Marge Simpson isn’t standing behind the counter all day in Dover-Foxcroft selling quickies. She’s not watching some hard working dude just in from the woods setting down a bottle of coffee brandy and asking her for a quckie, with a s# eating grin on his face.
Reid said the name hasn’t officially been implemented, and that the business plan may changed after public opinion is weighed.
So, there’s a chance, that we may never see a big sign taped to a window in that Kennebunk convience store, “Kwikies For A Buck”! Damn.
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