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Life’s Little ‘Twinkie Gauge’ May Go Empty

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The horror of it all. The intimidating notion that one of the world’s most delicious snacks may no longer exist weighs heavily on my psyche, and my ever expanding gut.The Hostess Twinkie, known to many mothers as the “Here take this, and shut up” cure to just about any juvenile confrontation may fade into the annals of dental revenue producing events and pant size wonderment.

Hostess Brands Inc., the makers of such mouth-watering delights like Wonder Bread, Sno-Balls, Ring Dings and Ding Dongs is bankrupt, Chapter 11. The company announced today it would seek to shutter its operations.

In trying to save the company management has presented the bakers’ union with a contract that would immediately cut workers’ salaries by 8 percent, and also cut other wages and benefits 27 to 32 percent. Ninety-two percent of the workers, including those at the Hostess Bakery in Biddeford, rejected the contract back in September.

Hostess has warned that a widespread strike could force the company to liquidate.

I hope for the sake of the workers that something can be worked out, and I also hope that these sugary traditions continue, so that dentists, dietitians and Dr. Phil continue to have something to bitch about.

But if for some reason that the Twinkie turns into history, like Woody Harrelson said in the movie “Zombieland,” “believe it or not, Twinkies do have an expiration date.” So we may indeed have something to worry about.

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