This particular lady, Psychologist Rachel MacLynn, runs Vida Matchmaking Consultancy and is considered a n expert on relationships.  She noted over the year that more divorce papers are files right after Christmas than any other. Based on that she assembled a list of common Holiday stress that can push us to the breaking point and gives ideas of strategies to avoid the melt down and hopefully increase your joy during the days to come.

Things to try . . .

  • Make an action plan with your partner. She suggests forming a list of everything that needs to be done – everyone take responsibility for some of it and then follow through. That was everyone pulls there weight.
  • Be sure to get a little ME time to make sure you are not running on your last nerve. Pick something you know will refresh your spirit, from walks, baths and massages to movies or a nap. Get recharged so you can keep your cool.
  • For the sake of your partner make an extra effort to get along with their family.
  • If you see your mate stressing over a task offer to help with and be proactive.
  • Face reality, nothing is perfect and Christmas is no different. Keep realistic expectations and remember it is the thought that counts.
  • Remember to remind your family that regardless of all else you love them. It helps.
  • Never underestimate the power of a hug, friendly touch or holding the hand of someone you love. Touch is very important.

Things to avoid…

  • Drinking and getting into conversations about anything you know will be controversial and lead to an argument
  • Talking about things from the past that were problems. Doing this is a downer and can spoil this Holiday as much as the one you are remembering.
  • Lamenting about how expensive Christmas is.  Make peace with spoiling yourself and the family for one day. It’s OK.
  • Spending all your time with your visitors and ignoring your spouse. Let relatives look after the kids while you and your partner go for a walk.
  • Don’t become a pressure cooker until you blow up and don’t sulk. If you feel slighted in some way just say so in a kind way and then choose to help each other get through the day together.