I never knew that cleaver and stupid could coexist until I read about an inmate at a Venezuelan prison left almost nothing to chance in plotting his escape: convicted murderer Gavinson Garcia was able to contort his 5-foot-3-inch frame into a suitcase, and managed to hire an accomplice to wheel him out.

However, his plan went sideways when the woman he paid to wheel him to freedom on February 24 couldn't pull his weight. A guard at Caracas' Yare II detention facility noticed the woman struggling to move the luggage up a flight of steps, and an investigation turned up the attempted escapee, half-naked and with his head folded between his knees, notes the New York Daily News.

Can't be done??? Morons unite!

Big surprise, suitcases are now banned at Venezuelan prisons.