The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.
The Midnight Writer
5 Dirty Songs Every Dude Needs in His Music Library
A man thinks about sex every six seconds. A man sings about sex every twenty seconds. Neither of those statements can be verified. Let's assume they are true.
Erin Andrews & Charissa Thompson of Fox Sports 1 Are Our First Ever ‘Double Celeb Crushes’
In case you're unaware, or don't care about sports, Fox Sport 1 launched last week.
10 ‘Kick-Ass’ Reasons You’d Make an AWFUL Vigilante Hero
'Kick-Ass 2' hit theaters, which means the number of masked vigilantes on the prowl will quadruple.
BREAKING NEWS: Kate Upton Spotted Wearing a White Bikini and Events Like This Make Us Miss Walter Cronkite
Did you know Kate Upton is filming a movie in the Hamptons with Mrs. Judd Apatow and the girl who really hasn't done much since 'The Mask' but once got Ben Stiller's sperm in her hair?
Candy Company Offers Breast Milk Flavored Lollipops — Makes For Great Treat After Therapy
The award-winning gourmet lollipop company, Lollyphile, has never been afraid to experiment with off-the-wall flavors. Four years ago, the "adult candy company" started producing absinthe-flavored suckers just before the absinthe ban was lifted...
It’s Time For ‘March Sadness’ — The Bracket of Everything that Makes a Guy Sad
March Madness brackets and the crowning of an NCAA champion in men's basketball is important to a select few people. The crowning of the saddest thing that can happen to a man is much more vital to the our readers. We're just assuming. We're just kind of sick of talking about basketball. We're burned out and the tourney isn't even a day old.
Let’s Celebrate 50 Years of Bret Michaels With Some Embarrassingly Awesome Photos
Bret Michaels, the former leader of Poison, winner of 'Celebrity Apprentice' and driving force behind all those awesome seasons of 'Rock of Love' turns 50 years old today.
7 Things You Shouldn’t Do If You Meet a Leprechaun on St. Patrick’s Day
Leprechauns, the faires of Irish folklore (no disrespect) are popular symbols this time of year. With St. Patrick's Day on the horizon, the little men with their hidden coins, pots of gold and ginger muttonchops are running rampant through the streets spreading their magical mischief...
I Need a Hobby [Half a Man]
The excruciatingly long, mind-numbing minutes between 8pm and 11pm, all 180 of them, is the worst part of my day.
Female News Anchor Doesn’t Know What the Gesture She’s Making With Her Hand and Mouth Really Means
I almost turned this video off .4 seconds into the most grating accent in the history of listening but then the female anchor said "big fat rubber end of my vibrating..." and things got interesting tout de suite. For the sake of good banter, and awesome visuals of women pretending to give oral treats, watch this female anchor hand gesture herself into internet history...