Okay...I realize I'm about to get a flood of comments from my co-workers/boss as soon as this hits the internet, and rightfully so, but we'll address that issue in a bit.....

Around the first of the year, there was an office party of some kind, I can't quite remember why, and there was coffee served. In the interest of trying to represent everyone's needs, someone got half and half, and additionally, a container of whole milk. Why does that matter now? In May? Because of this:

Photo: J Stew
Photo: J Stew

What you're watching turn solid there in the fridge, is the still unopened jug of whole milk that no one cared about. Sad, really. All that sweet delicious cow nectar has been rendered useless by a bunch of whole milk-hating, creamer-swilling jerks with no interest in food safety, taste, or waste. And I for one am appalled!!!

Okay, really, I'm not. Because I'm just as guilty as everyone else. I've let it fester in there for months too, at this point. And maybe, I'm the worst one of all, because I totally know we have a stash of poison milk in the fridge, and I've done absolutely nothing about it. Mostly because I'm the sicko who's curious to see how long it will stay in there before someone else notices and throws it away.

Now, that brings me back to my original point. My co-workers will now justifiably make me out to be the villain for letting it go and not taking care of it. When really, all I wanna do is leave it there even longer. I thought about leaving it til June, to hit the full 6 month mark, but I finally began to get nervous someone would actually throw it out before I got a photo of it.

So, for now, if anyone needs me, I'll be in the office kitchen with my nose pinched between my fingers while I dump out this container of hope and love, down the sad and lonely drain of destiny. Please, everyone bow your head for the passing of the whole milk no one wanted.

(Cue sad trombone sounds here.)

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