Guys, Can We Have a Man to Man Talk About Your Public Bathroom Habits?
Listen, guys. I know a lot of us are slobs. We're men. I think it's in our genes.
Some of us won't think twice about wearing the same pair of underwear two days in a row. Some of us brush the crumbs off our shirts onto the floor after eating or dip the same knife into the peanut butter and the Fluff.
But there comes a time when you have to show a little respect, especially when you're in a public restroom. Ladies, if you're reading this, I think you'll be able to relate to what I'm about to say.
Public restrooms have had an innovation that has been around since 1866 when it was patented by Andrew Rankin. I'm talking about the urinal.
We are lucky as men to have the ability to pee standing up. Women have no such luxury unless they own a GoGirl.
Men can't do everything standing up, however. Yes, I'm talking about a number 2 and no it's not a sandwich at your favorite sandwich shop. For a number 2, you need to sit down, just like you do at your urinal-free home.
It seems more often than not when I need to sit down for my business in a public restroom, I have encountered the problem so many women have to deal with if they have men or boys in the house. Pee on the seat. Guys! Why?
My dudes, if there's a urinal and all you have to do is pee, why are you going into a stall and peeing all over the seat? Your aim sucks and like your wife will tell you, lift the seat!
What's wrong with the urinals guys? Are you too worried another dude might see it? Most urinals have partitions. And if someone else does happen to see it, you'll be okay. I promise. We all have them.
So please, if you've gotta pee in a public restroom guys, use the urinal or lift the seat and keep your aim true. Also, please stop drawing penises on the wall. You aren't 12 anymore.