5 Reasons A.I. Thinks You Should Skip Moving To Maine

A lot of Mainers really like how small our state is.

Some people also accuse us of being downright xenophobic at points. We live in a state that needs new people to move here and help our economy grow, yet we not-so-secretly wish we could just keep our fine little state a secret. We can't live without the tourists coming here every year, yet we can't wait until they're gone sometimes.

We're also really bad at making a legitimate case for why folks should move to Vermont instead. Not to mention, who wouldn't want to live here? It's gorgeous and wonderful. Since I couldn't find a decent way to craft an argument of my own, I thought maybe ChatGPT could help build my case. I'm not sure I got the help I was looking for. Let's unpack the odd arguments for not coming here, and see how they stack up to logic.

AI hopes it can scare you away with a fear of blueberries?!

I feel like AI is definitely trying to impose its dystopian nightmare on me here. Like, even if you hate them, you're going to suffer a life of blueberry exposure. Definitely a great reason to keep out of Maine... Blueberries...

You definitely shouldn't move to Maine if you have a fear of friendly neighbors.

Some people just want to be left alone and may mistakenly think that they can come here and just keep to themselves. But ChatGPT reminds you that Mainers are just too dang friendly to avoid, so you'll inevitably have to have a face to face conversation. A.I. is just hoping you'll stay in your 248sf studio apartment in NYC.

You're definitely in danger of getting too much fresh air.

Artificial intelligence theorizes that after all the hard city living you've done, you'll just never be able to adapt to all the fresh air. Your lungs will just scream for the hot, searing burn of city smog. But instead, you'll just have to deal some good old fashioned fresh air. This could be devastating for your average city slicker.

Your GPS will leave you in the middle of nowhere at some point.

This is serious stuff. You can certainly drive in about any direction in Maine and you can almost instantly find yourself way out of the city. In a world where we depend on our phones to get us everywhere, Maine can just find a way to render your phone useless and leave you sitting in the White Mountains at 3:00am.

If you have photophobia or hotatsosphobia, Maine will be impossible.

Maine has a decent amount of lighthouses. And there's a lot to be afraid of when speaking of giant stick building that glow in the dark. Hotatsophobia is a straight-up fear of lighthouses. And photophobia is a fear of light. Put those two things together, and it's "lights out" for you moving to Maine.

These have gotta be the most whack-job reasons I've ever heard. Not one word about the high cost of living, or the out-of-control taxes. Nothing. Just that you may be offended by fresh air. But that checks out for this day and age. So maybe, just to be safe... Don't do what AI tells you.

Next, A.I. will probably try and tell us what real Mainers are like... *face palm*