This Browntail Moth Update From the State Is Like A Horror Movie Script

Browntail Moth Caterpillar season is in full swing.

But I didn’t have to tell you that. I guarantee that either you, or someone close to you is sitting and scratching at the rash right now. Those delightful, little red bumps that are seemingly connected to every nerve ending in your body, are affecting you either directly or indirectly.

Last year, I had the rash three times, and often I wondered how. I try to be careful when I mow, I’ve trimmed all the low hanging branches, and anything else I could think of to try and mitigate the little jerks.

While I appreciate the good news from the state…

It seems the damp weather has caused a lot of headaches for the BTM caterpillars. Fungi and other things have been wreaking havoc on their numbers. but the words the state uses in this update are almost cryptic and horrifying. They say things like “pleased” by the mortality rate, and it “wasn’t easy” to find living caterpillars. It reads like one of those 80’s nuclear apocalypse books.

Ok, it’s not quite that bad. But I did get a hearty chuckle out of the enthusiasm that was seemingly enjoyed by the author of that post. I mean, if you’re not in the business of writing horror movies, you might as well enjoy writing about caterpillars in a way that borders on scary. Plus, we all want them dead. So I say, horror on my friends…

HAVE NO FEAR, ALL THESE THINGS THAT LIVE IN MAINE ARE OUT TO GET YOU TOO, SO THERE’S THAT…