This sounds like Griswold family junk right here....

So here's the thing. I'm not sure to who this has happened, or how many people it's happened to. But I do know, that apparently enough people annually lose their Christmas trees off the tops of the car, that the Maine Turnpike Authority had to put up a post about it on Facebook.

It literally reminds people to double-check how tightly their trees are tied to the car, so they don't fly off into the unknown. They go on to talk about their crews finding trees on the side of the highway. That's trees... with an "s"... as in multiple... So that means there's an issue, though likely minor, with rogue Christmas trees.

Is tying something you need help with?

Look, I can't even tie a tie. In the 15 years I've been married, I've needed to wear a tie maybe half a dozen times. So, my wife ties it for me every time. At a wedding I was in a couple of months ago, the bride was tying my tie for me on our way down to the altar. No joke. So I'm no authority on knots. I'm just a judgy jerk.

But, if you're really worried about it, you can go to this website I easily found, and look at whatever knot you may need. I'm pretty sure they show you how to tie cruise ships to a giant pier on there, so I think you find a Christmas tree knot for your Honda. If not, probably the way-handier-than-you person at the lot can tie it on for you.

I told you I'm a judgy jerk. But seriously, there seem to be enough people out there who either can't tie their shoes, or understand that you don't use dental floss to tie a 6-foot tree onto your car. But some people think the Earth is flat, so who really cares? But, for the love of Pete, don't be that guy. Or girl.

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