I'm still trying to rationalize the absolute bull crap I witnessed recently.

In my years, I've spent a lot of time on the road. Between touring with my bands over the years and splitting a lot of my time between Portland and Bangor, I've seen some pretty crazy stuff. Car accidents, near misses, and plenty of cars who've spun out into the median or whatever. However...

Demo Derby Cars C

On a trip up Interstate 295 recently, I saw the most dangerous thing I've ever seen in my life. Somewhere in the vicinity of Yarmouth / Freeport, I caught some motion in my passenger side mirror. I thought this was a bit funny, as I was in the travel lane on the right, going about 5mph over the speed limit, frankly.

Then I almost lost my mirror completely...

Someone in a black Audi SUV was speeding up the breakdown lane, and had to be going at least 100mph, but probably more. I was going 70mph, and this person left me in the dust. Then, they proceeded to duck in and out of all the lanes, weaving through traffic, and again many times, in and out of the breakdown lane. Within about 30 seconds, they were gone from my view completely.


I noticed other cars that were completely rattled from what they had just witnessed, and I could tell several were hopping on their phones, presumably to call the police. The smallest movement from anyone around this vehicle could've easily triggered an insane accident that would inevitably involved several other cars.

Why would you do this?

I've been trying to make sense of this ever since it happened. It was like right out of a James Bond movie. Except no one was chasing this person. There was no accident or emergency further up the road. I thought at first maybe someone was trying to get to a desperate situation with a loved one, perhaps. Traffic was moving totally normally, at a good clip, with no delays. So none of this makes sense.

Or, when all other explanations fail... You're just an entitled jerk in a luxury car who thinks they're just a little bit better than everyone else. Maybe you're sad little feathers got ruffled because you had to wait an extra minute in traffic. Maybe you were about to crap your pants? Or, you're simply a horrible person. That's my bet. There's no situation on Earth that could ever justify the danger you put everyone around you in.


Well, let me be the first to tell you, you probably made a ton of other people almost crap their pants because of your outlandishly selfish and wildly dangerous behavior. Sadly, it was just another situation where there were no cops to be seen. I would've enjoyed seeing your vehicle on the side of the road, with you in cuffs. I definitely would have beeped and waved... but with just one finger.

In my case, I was almost hit BY an animal...

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