Portland, Maine’s Competitive Corn Maze Entry Looks Pretty Lame This Year

What is the opposite of a green thumb?

Whatever that's called, that's what I have. I'm pretty sure I could somehow kill a fake plant. Actually, I kinda have. I had an officemate who had a plant in our shared space that I would occasionally water when it was dry. My coworker caught me doing this once and immediately clued me into the fact that I was indeed, watering a fake plant. Not my brightest moment, for sure.

When I was a kid, we had a garden. I didn't do anything to help, for all the reasons stated above. But I always kind of secretly wished that we could grow enough corn to make a maze. I went to one once with a neighbor kid, and it was amazing. But we never did. We usually ate what came out of the ground pretty quickly.

There are some fantastic corn mazes around Maine.

Corinna, Blue Hill, Levant, New Gloucester, Cumberland... all these towns have/had amazing, award-winning corn mazes. But I gotta say, I saw what looked like maybe Portland was trying to get in on the action, which is interesting because, where would you put it? Because this one I saw trying to get going in the Old Port is the lamest corn maze of all time, according to this Reddit post.

The Old Port’s corn field is doing nicely so far this year.
by u/LCFarrar in Maine

First of all, it's only one plant. How do you get lost in one plant. It does look like someone is trying to help this poor little corn plant along, but why else would you plant corn in Maine's biggest tourist city? Other than to try and capture some of that country corn maze money? It's just Portland trying to create a demand for "big corn maze".

Don't get sucked into the hype. It's amazing that corn is growing in the middle of Portland, but this better not end up on Yelp or Trip Advisor or whatever. Portland does a lot of things right, but leave the corn mazes up to the pros. This just isn't a good look on you, Portland. Stay in your lane.

Here's some other rad corn mazes that you can go see...