What a difference a week makes.

A mere week ago, I spent pretty much the whole day out in the yard doing cleanup and it was almost enjoyable. The air was warm but not too warm, and we got a lot done. We got some branches trimmed, we burned up a lot of brush and junk, and then celebrated our work with an adult soda out in the yard. Best of all, not a black fly to be found.

Photo by Drew Farwell on Unsplash
Photo by Drew Farwell on Unsplash

Fast forward a week, and I went out to do some more yard work and was completely overrun by our unofficial Maine State Birds. Like, crazy amounts. The kind where you pretty much inhale them every time you take a breath. So gross. How can you just go from none last week to all of them this week, with no transition?! Wth?!

Cue all the keyboard warriors to tell they've been out for weeks...

Look I get it... Where you are has been clogged right up with black flies, and I must be some out-of-touch city slicker. That's what they call Bangor folks in Carmel, right? Anyhow, it never ceases to amaze me how they just seem to come out of nowhere. And you can fight me all you want, it seems like very little will actually do much to protect you from them.

Women scratch the itch with hand

You can try sprays, you can try baby oil or Skin So Soft, you can try running. But no matter what you do, some brave little turd is going to circumvent all your efforts and buzz right up in your face. They're just so crushingly annoying. They make me wanna not bother to do my chores at all, hahaha.

There are a few things you can do...

They're kind of attracted to your breath, which is likely why they swarm your face. Also, they like body warmth. Dark colors won't help that in the summer, so you might wear some lighter clothes. Repellents help, but offer only mild relief. They're also more active on cloudy days. they're not fond of the sun, so you may see fewer in brighter areas. But they'll probably still find you, and ultimately bite you.

Sure they itch, but could they just be a little lazier like a mosquito so I could kill them a bit easier? That'd be a big help. Until then, I'll just throw on long sleeves and try to not care. Until I finally care so much I stop whatever I'm doing and go inside mad. That's the Maine way anyway, right? Just get mad at things you can't control and swear til nothing changes... Welcome to black fly season... It sucks.

Let's double check for a black fly tattoo...

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