If you spend much time on a site like Reddit or even say the Maine Wildlife Facebook page, you'll often see people from away that are talking about moving here. They have all sorts of questions about the restaurants, the nightlife, the best places to see moose, etc. But not one ever asks about the worst part of Maine.... the roads.

What Makes Our Roads So Much Worse?

Well, the biggest thing as I see it, is that no matter what time of year it is, there's something going on that is either trying to destroy you or your car. There is literally something year-round that makes driving barely worth it. Seriously, all four seasons are out to get you. But let's look at the biggies...

Who doesn't love road construction?

Jamie Street via Unsplash
Jamie Street via Unsplash
loading...

I swear as soon as the snow melts, the tearing up of the roads begins. Sure, much like our growing season in Maine, road construction has a pretty narrow window. So, it forces the MDOT to pack in as much work as they can. Last year, right in my hometown of Hampden, there were 4 separate jobs going that made it impossible to get in or out quickly.

Being stuck behind tourists is the absolute best. Said no one ever.

why kei via Unsplash
why kei via Unsplash
loading...

You're just trying to get to Hannaford in Brewer, but you've got to deal with all the gads of tourists that are meandering their way to or from Bar Harbor. Ever try to get to Holden via Wilson Street in the summer?! Not happening. Plus, as I said above, they're tearing up the entire area where I-395 dumps onto 1A. Add the bumper-to-bumper tourist traffic, and you might go crazy. Pro Tip: give the tourists directions to the southbound highway when they ask how to get to Bar Harbor. It feels great.

Deer season makes nighttime driving an absolute joy in the fall.

Donnie Rosie via Unsplash
Donnie Rosie via Unsplash
loading...

You've gotten over the tourists. You've survived the bulk of road construction season, and now you just want to take a deep breath and relax on your way home from work in the dark. But no, just as you exhale that big deep breath, a full-grown Bambi flies out of the woods at 400 mph and naturally stops right in front of your car. Or worse, a moose. Moose are downright deadly. A lot of folks, sadly, do not get to tell their moose stories.

The roads in winter are specifically out to get you, at all times.

Kristaps Grundsteins via Unspalsh
Kristaps Grundsteins via Unspalsh
loading...

Last winter, I didn't make it to work one day because ZERO plowing had been done on my road. I tried to make it in anyways but managed to slide into a ditch going 8 mph. Yes, 8 miles per hour. And it required AAA to pull me out. Yay. Even when the roads seem fine, you can come around a bend doing light speed, and discover a patch of road where the snow's been drifting across, and you almost die. It's an exhilarating feeling.

When Old Man Winter leaves, it's pothole season.

Ian Taylor via Unsplash
Ian Taylor via Unsplash
loading...

You finally stop slipping and sliding everywhere, but the spring rains have begun. Which brings constant thawing and re-freezing of the ground. Then, potholes start popping up like browntail moth caterpillars. Tons of them everywhere, making your skin crawl as you try to Super Mario your way around the potholes, prompting local law enforcement to pull you over because you look drunk trying to navigate the roads.

And then, guess where we are after that? RIGHT BACK TO ROAD CONSTRUCTION SEASON. So as you can see, it's a vicious cycle that feeds itself all year. So yeah Redditors from away... Enjoy that meal you heard so much about online, but get ready to run the gauntlet of Maine roads after.

WE'RE MAD AT ALL THESE OTHER THINGS, LET'S MAKE FUN OF TICKS TO MAKE OURSELVES FEEL BETTER...

Finish This Sentence: The Ticks Are So Bad This Year...

Mainers on Reddit finish a sentence we all say ten times a day.

The 20 Least Populated Maine Towns in 1950

A fun look at Maine's least populated towns from 1950. Their 2020 population is also included to show the different growth rates for the vastly diverse set of towns.

The data used comes from a preliminary count for the 1950 Census and 2020 Census data.

Top 20 Maine Breweries According to Trip Advisor

Maine has more breweries than people. That's probably not a real stat, but it definitely feels like it. Here are the top 20 breweries according to Trip Advisor

Quick Note: Hidden Cove Brewing is listed as 11th. H0wever, that brewery has been sold, so it is not represented on the list.

More From WWMJ Ellsworth Maine