Maine Pastor Tells Tale of Being Stuck Behind Satan in Traffic

It’s funny, my awareness of this vehicle came from a different source.

A friend was concerned his license plate might be taken away by the state during the whole debacle when they started recalling some license plates for vulgar and offensive language. I asked Ian what was so offensive about his plate, and he told me it read “I’m Satan”.

I assured him that wasn’t the kind of plate they were after. They were mostly going after graphic plates with swear words and that kind of thing. And while his plate would probably be offensive to some, he had nothing to worry about.

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Yes, Satan drives. An old Dodge Durango.

Several months later, he sent me this Facebook post from a man named Matthew Darcy Ward, who essentially gave a review of “Satan” and his driving, after being stuck behind him in traffic. He pointed out that things must be financially tough in Hell these days, on account of the Devil driving such an obviously high-mileage vehicle. I mean, should we assume then, that it’s all Beamers and Corvettes in Heaven? I can’t say I blame them. A company car is a company car.

Here’s where the fun part came: I didn’t understand until I clicked through to the original Facebook post that Matthew, the person who posted the photo and review was the Pastor of the Charleston Church in Charleston, Maine. I mean, if anyone is qualified to give a review of Satan’s driving, it’s gotta be a pastor, right?

The comments were pure gold as well.

People really had a good time pondering what circumstances led the Prince of Darkness to drive an old Durango. I mean, the horns are all good, that checks out. Some of my favorite comments went like this...

Poor dyslexic guy at the DMV thought he spelled Santa right...

Kind of expected to see him driving a Genesis, Infinity, or a Soul.

He is treating you to the first level of hell, getting stuck behind a slow driver.

The other funny part of this is that Ian is a great guy. Sure, he gets a little kick out of having these plates. Well, used to. Satan moved out of state and apparently got new plates. But Ian is just a quiet, straightforward guy who enjoys stirring the pot a bit. Apparently by going too slow in front of church pastors. If Ian does end up down in H-E-double-hockey-sticks, he can lead with this story. It can’t hurt, right?

You're not a real Mainer until you've been stuck behind Satan in traffic...